Why I love Melanie Philips, Jan Moir, Liz Jones and all @ the Daily Mail
I was watching Question Time this evening and I had a revelation. I love Melanie Philips.
A controversial, some may say scandalous position, I grant you, but hear me out. What is the real danger that columnists like her present?
Is it their palaeolithic views? Nope. I defend to the death their right to hold them and express them – that is the way of a free society that they so abhor. Is it that they are given a forum to address others who are as impenetrably backward? Again nope. I like a Daily Mail reader. They are easy to spot, easy to upset – one knows exactly where one stands with them. Is it that they think all gay folk are involved in some perpetual, promiscuous, sleazy, sexual merry-go-round (and no straight folk are). They are entitled to their envy, aren’t they? Is it that they start sentences with “Part of the problem of being a liberal society, especially one obsessed with human rights” as if they are about to reveal the tip of an iceberg towards which we all are heading – like some homosexual, environmentally conscious, welfare-funded Titanic? Not in a country where political debate is encouraged. They are perpetually just a few seconds away from looking stupid.
The real danger is much subtler and stealthier. It rests on their ability to make otherwise rational men and women scream abuse at their television set. That elusive je-ne-sais-quoi that makes the most tolerant human being want to be violent in ways only fathomed by Apollinaire in his darkest moments. The bizarre and paradoxical desire they create in a peaceful man like me, to make them repeat their spiel into a hanky laced with Methoxyflurane.
And so, I have decided, no more. These people are as they are because of the hatred that surrounds them. In a twisted way, they probably feed off it. And so I say: Melanie, I love you. Jan, I love you. Liz, I love you. Daily Mail, I love you. I put my liberal, tree-hugging, petition-signing, metrosexual, hairy arms around you and have nothing but forgiveness, tolerance and undestanding for you.
Suck on that.