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The Funniest Thing I Read All Day

January 16, 2012

Today’s London Evening Standard devotes significant space to the resignation of Colin Barrow, the Tory Westminster councillor at the centre of the parking charges fiasco. In his piece “No 10’s relief at abrupt departure” political editor Joe Murphy includes the following hilarious paragraph:

Senior political sources reveal that the Prime Minister was almost ready to speak out against the scheme days before it was postponed at Christmas. David Cameron was worried that the parking charges would damage jobs and growth, by driving customers and staff away from the West End.” [my emphasis]

Almost journalism

I can now exclusively reveal that according to thoroughly unreliable (and frankly, non-existent) insider sources, David Cameron also:

– was almost ready to sack Andy Coulson, days before he had to resign in disgrace;

– was almost ready to oppose the privatisation of the NHS, days before it was agreed with private healthcare providers and other party donors;

– was generally almost ready to be almost ready to be ready to stamp out anything unpopular on which the government has been embarrassed and had to perform a U-turn;

– was almost ready to “shut up”, minutes before Sarkozy told him to;

– almost addressed City bonuses, almost achieved growth, almost brought about a fall in unemployment, and almost reduced the deficit in his 20 months in charge.

____________________________________

Which leaves me with one question: Is there no depth to which this gang of PR thugs will not stoop?

The answer is probably: Almost.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. January 16, 2012 6:35 pm

    I am almost ready to post a comment on here

  2. Sean Bastable permalink
    January 16, 2012 6:39 pm

    Hahahahahahaha well done Alex

  3. Cath permalink
    January 16, 2012 7:05 pm

    I am so glad (not almost) to be living north of the border sometimes…

  4. January 16, 2012 7:19 pm

    I’m equally glad, Cath, and like you “not almost” to be living north of the border, but for me it is…ALMOST all the time.

    Great post again Mr Sturdy.🙂

  5. January 16, 2012 7:52 pm

    Reblogged this on Broken_Heart Blog and commented:
    Politicians almost solve all the problems of the day. Sadly, this is not sufficient to get us out of the financial mess now. We need resolute solutions today so our children and their children inherit more than a memory of a first world society.

  6. January 16, 2012 9:14 pm

    I think that Steve Bell has already defined the”D” bit of his name, now we have the “A”, any thoughts about the ‘M’?

  7. nick james permalink
    January 16, 2012 10:09 pm

    Laugh? I almost cried.

    • January 16, 2012 11:51 pm

      It’s either one or the other at the moment – don’t you find?

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