Skip to content

I’ve had a tiny pebble in my shoe all day

June 27, 2014


I’ve had a tiny pebble in my shoe all day. It has annoyed me since ten o’clock this morning. And yet I only just took it out. The pebble has wounded my foot. Just like the thought that next time I visit the home where I grew up, Mum may not recognise me, wounds my heart. It shifts around, sometimes it hobbles me, sometimes I feel it less, but it is always there. It is the price I pay, every day, for choosing to be bold and pioneering, back when home was boring and parents indestructible.

I sit here alone in my flat now, holding the minuscule monolith in my palm, sobbing a bit. I love this pebble. I brought it from a beach in Mykonos all the way to South Bermondsey. You should have seen how breezily I marched through the “Nothing To Declare” aisle, knowing that in my shoe I carried a tiny piece of smuggled salted sunshine.

If it weren’t a thoroughly irrational thing to do, I’d put it right back in my shoe tomorrow morning.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. June 27, 2014 10:44 pm

    Your words opened an old wound. My home was boring and my parents indestructible too.
    I was bold and pioneering when you probably were not even born.
    The pebble, figuratively and not, is becoming bigger every day.
    I long to go back home and stay there.
    Thank you for sharing.

  2. aalekas permalink
    June 28, 2014 6:37 am


  3. June 28, 2014 8:59 am

    Alex, hold on to your memories and dreams…and the pebble.

  4. June 28, 2014 11:53 am

    I, too, understand your pebble. Like the comment on a previous blog that wherever you go you miss somebody, the emotion resonates with me. As I prepare to leave home yet again I will carry my own pebble. Thank you.

  5. June 28, 2014 10:29 pm

    I love it! Great observation.

  6. angela permalink
    June 28, 2014 11:41 pm

    Dear Sweet Alex you are such a beautiful human being ,your words touch my heart,and what you don’t say rain’s in my soul.

  7. James permalink
    June 18, 2015 7:38 pm

    Thank you. That is beautiful – and I have a feeling that the same pebble will be in my shoe soon.


  1. Home | Lamputts on Land

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: